Many times, we don't want to yell and it seems to "just happen". After we have given our children opportunities and worked with them lovingly to come to a good decision, they sometimes still refuse to accept a boundary and that can be exhausting. Below is an excerpt from Janet Lansbury and at the bottom is the full link to her blog post on how to parent with respect.
"My sense is that parents often end up yelling because they’ve actually made the very positive decision to give their children boundaries with respect rather than punishments and manipulation. These parents are working really hard to remain gentle and kind, and yet their children’s testing behaviors continue. They become increasingly frustrated, even fearful, feeling they’ve lost all control without any way to rein their children in."
If you’ve been yelling, here are some questions to ask yourself:
1. Are you taking care of yourself?
2. Have you spent your baby’s first year distracting, appeasing or otherwise manipulating her rather than speaking honestly about limits?
3. Do you feel responsible for your children’s emotions?
4. Are your expectations are unreasonable?
5. Are you are confused about setting limits gently with respect?
6. Are you needlessly entering into power struggles?
Read more in the full blogpost from Janet Lansbury at
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/02/i-think-i-know-why-youre-yelling/
To explore these questions with a therapist and find answers to your parenting concerns, contact info@mazenspace.com and visit www.mazenspace.com